The Boundless Collaboration: Meet the Bloggers

Well, hello there.

                        Everything happens for a reason!

We hear this time and time again, and it conjures up images of a bumper sticker on the rust-bucket vehicle that has stalled in front of you in the middle of a 10-mile-long traffic jam. And yet, when serendipity strikes, the ordinary suddenly becomes extraordinary. We're two women who discovered over the course of our developing friendship that we are both writers. In fact, we've been writers all our lives. 

The story begins with when Tracy met Monica at a parent-teacher conference seven years ago. Over time, the parent-teacher relationship morphed into bonding sessions over cake, marinara sauce and aging parents. After several soul-defining conversations about middle age, change, and boundlessness within the friendship, it dawned on Tracy that Monica was the perfect collaboration partner. The idea for the Boundless Collaborative was hatched: A blogging collaborative in which to tell their own stories and musings about life, as well as provide a space to honor other women writers' voices.  

 Each month, we'll be laughing, crying and cussing like sailors about a different theme, and we'll be introducing you to some awe-inspiring women. 

Why boundlessness?

Over the course of two years, I lost my mom to Alzheimer complications, I turned 50, and I purchased a new roof for my house. What's the big deal about a new roof? As I looked over my roofing options, I suddenly recognized that the 30-year roof I was choosing just might outlive me, and the shockwaves of that reality rippled through me. It wasn't the first time I had thought about my own mortality, but it was one of many recent realizations that catapulted me further into my middle-aged funk. Where am I? And how did I get here? Is this all there is?

Watching a loved one with Alzheimer's Disease is witnessing a thousand little deaths. My mom had worked so hard to get to retirement, only to be robbed of her possibilities. With my family's medical history, it would be easy for me to dwell in the limitations that I cannot control. I don't dare wait until retirement to write a novel, to learn how to dance flamenco, to hike Iceland... to feel boundless. 

A year later, I tucked a rolled blanket under my bottom as I attempted Padmasana, which is yoga code for "imagine your legs as a salted Bavarian pretzel." The guru at the front of the room greeted us and said, "Each of us is searching for boundlessness. That is what it means to live." I actually retched from the knot of grief and confusion that had congealed in my throat since my mom's death. I did the rapid blinking thing to keep tears from streaming down my face. Shit, if this is just getting started, and I'm crying at "hello," what shape will I be in at the end of the weekend? This was my confirmation that I was on the right path.

When I think of the word boundless, I try to channel the sense of wonder I had as a little girl. The dreams. The delight. The belief. More and more, I catch glimpses of her, and I remember how.

I thought I had more time. To do all the things I wanted. It's fair to say that some days of my life seemed to last years yet most of the time I feel like I went to bed last night, a nubile 20 year old and woke up 50, farting myself out of slumber, with nary the passing of decades in between. It's diabolical the way time has its way with us. Somewhere between then and now I did do a lot of the things. I graduated college, got jobs, got married, had four kids, experimented with different religions and spiritual beliefs...I bought cars, houses and had enough abdominal surgeries to render my fupa a plump and numb punching bag for this "thing called life." I was busy and even brave, damnit! I opened a bakery with my big sister when I had three itty bitty children, no small business skills and not one official business loan to back us. I did a lot of the things yes indeed, but suddenly, I was middle aged. A whole lot behind me and a terrifyingly limited time left in front me. (Insert the dissonant, Price is Right "you're a loser" music here.) I somehow found myself on the other side of a half century feeling as if I had barely scratched the surface of my potential, had hardly even delved into all that I could dream of and dare to do...and that, maybe...I had lost the opportunity to do more. 

Fuck that. 

I am smarter than I've ever been. I am stronger, emotionally and mentally, than ever before (let's not talk physical, I have some repetitive stress injuries from years of misuse). I am braver. I am bolder. I care less about what others think about me and more about what I think of myself. My voice is clearer, stronger and louder than it was even yesterday, and tomorrow's voice will put today's to shame. I am not only ready for more, I am poised for it.

That fleeting thought I had that time was not on my side only bolstered me further into the realization that time is what I make of it. It is not just "happening" to me, I am the conductor of the orchestra of hours and minutes and seconds and I have to create and seize opportunities, to move unbounded into a future that is still full of possibilities and potential. I am only as boundless as I allow myself to be and that's the challenge. I have no one to blame but myself if I don't charge madly into this leg of my journey with my ass on fire, screaming  "O, Captain! My Captain!" with the ardor of a member of the Dead Poet's Society. So charge forth I will. Boundless.

“I can promise you that women working together – linked, informed and educated – can bring peace and prosperity to this forsaken planet.” -Isabelle Allende

"There is no limit to what we, as women, can accomplish." -Michele Obama

        

                "When a man gives his opinion, he's a man; when a woman gives her opinion, she's a bitch." -Bette Davis

"We need women at all levels, including the top, to change the dynamic, reshape the conversation, to make sure women's voices are heard and heeded, not overlooked and ignored." -Sheryl Sandberg

            "I am a woman with thoughts and questions and shit to say. I say if I'm beautiful. I say if I'm strong. You will not determine my story—I will." -Amy Schumer