Middle Age: The Age of Reinvention

As my last child is excitedly dorm shopping and getting ready for freshman year college move-in day, I’m beginning to question my own identity, if I'm no longer “Becca’s mom."  In the throes of middle age, the last few years have rocked my contented life. From being constantly hot (not just occasional flashes), moving my family in with my elderly parents, the death of my father-in-law, not to mention Covid lockdown, and my oldest daughter moving home, teaching in my classroom to live students on a Friday then having to teach online the next Monday, and going back to in-person school wearing masks.

Eighteen months later. . . things are different. Students are different. So many highs and lows; mourning the recent loss of both my parents yet celebrating high school awards and graduation. By the end of last June, for the first time in 36 years, I no longer loved teaching. This shift in who I have always defined myself as: teacher, was starting to waver.

Unlike the stereotypical midlife crisis, I didn’t want a flashy new sportscar. I wasn’t dissatisfied with my husband of 20 years. As I often do when faced with unknown quandaries, I turned to my girlfriends for counsel. I am blessed with several groups of badass besties! All of us are in our 50s, refusing to stagnate or stay in a rut! They are not “just moms” or “just teachers." They have renewed or found their true passions; they have pivoted careers. They are change makers! Midlife is the perfect time to reflect and contemplate on how we want the next half of our lives to be.

These women aren't just my friends. They are my mentors and inspiration.

Stay-at-Home Mom to Fashion Influencer to Drug Abuse Counselor

My friend, S was a stay-at-home mom while her children were growing up. She has always been our most fashionable and chic friend; the one whom we go to for fashion advice. She embraced her age and began sharing tips and style advice for women in midlife. She was my first friend who let her hair go gray and she is beautiful! She built a huge social media following, becoming an influencer. After her social media account was hacked and stolen, she didn’t let it deter her. She went back to college to earn a degree in Alcohol and  Drug Abuse Counseling. She has helped so many clients and families!

From Teacher to Advocate to Author, Speaker, Actor, and Singer:

When my friend L’s daughter was diagnosed with leukemia, she proactively did research on eastern and western medicine. She not only walked the journey every step of the way, but she now has a website that provides education, encouragement and resources for parents of children with cancer and other chronic illnesses.  She is publishing her first book, THRU THE FIRE: A Compassionate Guide for Surviving Your Child’s Terrifying, Life-Threatening Illness with Your Identity, Your Family, and Your Relationships Intact! It’s an incredible resource and guide for practical and logistical matters, as well as offering hope and beyond. And L is doing all of this while teaching full-time, as well as singing in a swing band and acting in community theater! She certainly doesn’t narrow her identity to one role.

From Attorney to Art Docent to Political Advocate to Art Collector

Another dear friend, K was a family law attorney but decided practicing law did not fulfill her. She retired early and rediscovered her passion for art! K is one of the smartest humans that I know and does everything 110% so of course she didn’t just visit art museums. She studies artists, art styles and art periods and became an art docent at not one but two of the major art museums in our city! Her tours are so interesting that she makes even the non-art lover appreciate art. Her interest in and love for art continues to grow, becoming an art collector! Not only is she smart and passionate, but she has a heart for justice and  has been a political activist for years. She certainly doesn’t let herself be defined in a box! (Plus the fact that she’s also an incredible and intentional mom!)

My list of changemaker friends can go on and on (and I’m sorry if I didn’t mention you… limited on words here!). They inspire me to continue to change and grow, challenge my identity to not stay stagnant, pursuing my interests and passions. I may teach for a few more years, or I may not. I’m already thinking about what may come next and how I’ll define myself. Maybe I’ll be a college instructor and teach graduate students in education again. Maybe I’ll write some children’s books. Maybe I’ll be a coach and work with teachers in schools. Or perhaps I’ll be a volunteer docent at an historical site or work in a library or bookstore. There’s so much more to learn and to experience. I don’t need to label or limit myself; I’m looking forward to this next half of my life!

Kathie is a teacher, curriculum writer and passionate
education blogger. You can read about her educational journey at www.triedandtrueteachingtools.com.