Resolution(less)?

I grew up observing Lent, the 40 days each spring when Catholics give things up - like sweets, and meat on Fridays, and eating in between meals - and maybe do something extra - like volunteer at a soup kitchen or food pantry, or give a little extra to a favorite charity - to feel closer to God in preparation for Easter. I have always liked Lent. It's a challenge, and it gives me the chance, at least for those 40 days, to continually reflect on something I have chosen to do and the bigger picture of why I am doing it. 

So it blew my Catholic mind when, several years ago in the middle of his sermon, the priest at the church I attended casually announced that he never gives things up for Lent. He said if he wants to make a change in his behavior and in his life, why would he do it for just 40 days? When he wants to make a change, he said, he just makes the change.

What?! A priest said that?? About Lent?!

I mean, he did have a point. He REALLY had a point.

And I REALLY liked what he was saying. But I also still really liked observing Lent, and we were already a week or two into it, so for that year I stayed my Lenten course. To say that priest really got me thinking was an understatement, and so the next year I decided to try a compromise. Aside from the ingrained meat on Fridays, I opted not to give anything up and instead I started a daily gratitude journal. I made up my mind to look at the 40 days of Lent that year as a way to kick start a habit of becoming conscientiously thankful, and writing everyday while I was doing it.

That was 2020, right before the start of the pandemic. Every night before I went to sleep, I opened that journal and wrote down at least five things I was grateful for. In the end, it did indeed become a habit. It became something that I continued religiously, so to speak, every day for the next year and a half. And although I don't write in my gratitude journal everyday now, I still keep it up on a regular basis. That Lenten resolution and those 40 days helped me to create and cement a gratitude practice that I know is better for my overall well-being and I hope might help me to be a better person. It also now offers me the gift of being able to look back at that uncertain, scary time when Covid was brand new, and to view it through the lens of gratitude. I am really grateful for that.

So I'm not sure why, when we decided last month that the Boundless Collaborative would write on the theme of "Resolution(less)" for the month of January, that Lent didn't immediately come to mind. The intriguing idea of how I should approach writing about this took me straight to New Year's resolutions:

"Does this mean I'm not supposed to make any this year?" 

"Is this actually a thing?" 

"I mean... why not...? I guess I could try it." 

I'll be the first to admit that while I'm good at observing Lent, I'm not always the best at following through on New Year's resolutions. But to just not make any at all this year? Hmmm.... I'd have to think about that. 

And so I did. A lot. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized there was something to the idea of not having to be burdened with the expectations of making resolutions that I may or may not keep. But what I also realized is how much I actually enjoy making New Year's resolutions. I like the idea of a clean slate, and starting over fresh - even though I know full well that that is not even close to how it's going to play out. Admittedly, my New Year's resolutions generally tend to be the same, give or take, from year-to-year: lose some weight, eat only healthy foods, exercise every day, get organized, simplify my life, write more. Because even though I didn't think I had the time or energy for those things the year before, it's a new year now. I should just be able to just wake up in January and start simultaneously doing them all,  right? I start my New Year's resolutions sometime in the first week or so of January and always continue them into... oh, who am I kidding? I usually don't even make it that far.

When I really think about it, though, I am already working on many of the things on my resolutions list anyway, just not the way I guess I envision I should. Like, after a co-worker told me she had recorded her steps one day at the bakery, I took her cue and did the same thing myself a few times, realizing to my surprise that I was actually walking 3 to 7 miles every day just in my little store, depending on how busy we were. But that looks quite a bit different than daily yoga or working out with Jillian Michaels.

And I tend to buy my calendar and planner for the new year when I'm holiday shopping for other people and come across ones that work for me. It doesn't mean they necessarily fill themselves out, but I do have them in hand. And along with all the sweet stuff I can never seem to pass up, I am otherwise conscientious about how I eat. (I did own a bakery for almost 25 years. Someone - twist my arm - had to take charge of quality control.) 

I think what I like about New Year's resolutions is the thinking about them. While not necessarily the complete reset I always idealize they will be, they do provide a reminder of what I should be paying more attention to to live a healthier, more fulfilled life. So maybe it's a matter of not just making resolutions, but of looking at what's behind each one, what I'm already doing and what else I can be doing to make them actually... doable. And maybe it's also a matter of taking one thing at a time each new year, like I did that Lent with my gratitude journal, and working it into daily practice.

                                                                                                                    

Next week marks a new month for the Boundless Collaborative. Meet us back here as we talk about love (in unexpected ways). Our newest blogger, Mary Lou will be sharing. You can meet her HERE.